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Top Ten Funny Golf Quotes

Although inaugural golf games and golf courses were never recorded, the game of golf was played throughout Scotland from 1502. The Netherlands is the only other nation that has provided evidence that a game remarkably similar to the game of golf was played in 1296.

It is believed the word "golf" is derived from the languages and dialects of the Dutch and Scots. Whether from "kolf" or "kolve" meaning "club" in medieval Dutch to "golve," "gowl" or "gouf" in Scotland, by the 16th Century, the word "golf" had emerged.

Regardless of the origin of the game or the name, golf has become popular as a sport, as a recreational activity and for spectators. Today, there are over 27 million golfers in the U.S. with the average golfer playing more than 20 rounds per year.

For those hitting the courses, enjoy the following funny quotes dedicated to golf!


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"Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick."

— P.J. O'Rourke Send this quote as an ecard

"Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six, and write down five."

— Paul Harvey Send this quote as an ecard

"It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course."

— Hank Aaron Send this quote as an ecard

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"If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would've been a great shot."

— Sam Snead Send this quote as an ecard

(President) "I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators."

— Gerald Ford Send this quote as an ecard

"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose."

— Winston Churchill Send this quote as an ecard

"The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie."

— Mickey Mantle Send this quote as an ecard

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"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."

— Phyllis Diller Send this quote as an ecard

(Author) "Golf is a good walk spoiled."

— Mark Twain Send this quote as an ecard

"Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them."

— Kevin Costner Send this quote as an ecard